第三十一回 · 慚愧自陳 Shame and Confession — Journey to the West

原文 Original text 繁體 Traditional Reader's edition

慚愧自陳 Shame and Confession

公gōng主zhǔ聞wén此cǐ正zhèng言yán，半bàn晌shǎng家jiā耳ěr紅hóng面miàn赤chì，慚cán愧kuì無wú地dì。忽hū失shī口kǒu道dào：「長zhǎng老lǎo之zhī言yán最zuì善shàn。我wǒ豈qǐ不bù思sī念niàn父fù母mǔ？只zhǐ因yīn這zhè妖yāo精jīng將jiāng我wǒ攝shè騙piàn在zài此cǐ，他tā的de法fǎ令lìng又yòu謹jǐn，我wǒ的de步bù履lǚ又yòu難nán，路lù遠yuǎn山shān遙yáo，無wú人rén可kě傳chuán音yīn信xìn。欲yù要yào自zì盡jìn，又yòu恐kǒng父fù母mǔ疑yí我wǒ逃táo走zǒu，事shì終zhōng不bù明míng。故gù沒méi奈nài何hé，苟gǒu延yán殘cán喘chuǎn，誠chéng為wéi天tiān地dì間jiān一yí大dà罪zuì人rén也yě。」說shuō罷bà，淚lèi如rú泉quán湧yǒng。公gōng主zhǔ闻wén此cǐ正zhèng言yán，半bàn晌shǎng家jiā耳ěr红hóng面miàn赤chì，惭cán愧kuì无wú地dì。忽hū失shī口kǒu道dào：「长zhǎng老lǎo之zhī言yán最zuì善shàn。我wǒ岂qǐ不bù思sī念niàn父fù母mǔ？只zhǐ因yīn这zhè妖yāo精jīng将jiāng我wǒ摄shè骗piàn在zài此cǐ，他tā的de法fǎ令lìng又yòu谨jǐn，我wǒ的de步bù履lǚ又yòu难nán，路lù远yuǎn山shān遥yáo，无wú人rén可kě传chuán音yīn信xìn。欲yù要yào自zì尽jìn，又yòu恐kǒng父fù母mǔ疑yí我wǒ逃táo走zǒu，事shì终zhōng不bù明míng。故gù没méi奈nài何hé，苟gǒu延yán残cán喘chuǎn，诚chéng为wéi天tiān地dì间jiān一yí大dà罪zuì人rén也yě。」说shuō罢bà，泪lèi如rú泉quán涌yǒng。

逐句解 Line by line

公gōng主zhǔ聞wén此cǐ正zhèng言yán，半bàn晌shǎng家jiā耳ěr紅hóng面miàn赤chì，慚cán愧kuì無wú地dì。公gōng主zhǔ闻wén此cǐ正zhèng言yán，半bàn晌shǎng家jiā耳ěr红hóng面miàn赤chì，惭cán愧kuì无wú地dì。

The princess, hearing this upright speech, for a long moment flushed red at the ears and cheeks, and was ashamed past all measure.

正言, zhèng yán, upright, admonishing words; 半晌, bàn shǎng, a good long moment; 慚愧無地, cán kuì wú dì, ashamed with nowhere on earth to hide.

忽hū失shī口kǒu道dào：「長zhǎng老lǎo之zhī言yán最zuì善shàn。忽hū失shī口kǒu道dào：「长zhǎng老lǎo之zhī言yán最zuì善shàn。

Then, blurting it out, she said, "The reverend one's words are most just.

失口, shī kǒu, to let something slip, to blurt. The confession is not decided on; it escapes her.

我wǒ豈qǐ不bù思sī念niàn父fù母mǔ？我wǒ岂qǐ不bù思sī念niàn父fù母mǔ？

How should I not long for my father and mother?

豈不, qǐ bù: "how could I not?"

只zhǐ因yīn這zhè妖yāo精jīng將jiāng我wǒ攝shè騙piàn在zài此cǐ，他tā的de法fǎ令lìng又yòu謹jǐn，我wǒ的de步bù履lǚ又yòu難nán，路lù遠yuǎn山shān遙yáo，無wú人rén可kě傳chuán音yīn信xìn。只zhǐ因yīn这zhè妖yāo精jīng将jiāng我wǒ摄shè骗piàn在zài此cǐ，他tā的de法fǎ令lìng又yòu谨jǐn，我wǒ的de步bù履lǚ又yòu难nán，路lù远yuǎn山shān遥yáo，无wú人rén可kě传chuán音yīn信xìn。

It is only that this fiend spirited and beguiled me hither; his spells and prohibitions are strict, my own goings hard, the road far and the mountains distant, with none by whom to send a word home.

Now the real situation comes out, and it is not what any of the men supposed. 攝騙, shè piàn, carried off by force and by trick together; 法令, fǎ lìng, his magical prohibitions, the rules a spell imposes; 步履, bù lǚ, one's own steps, one's freedom to move. Thirteen years, and no one to carry a word home.

欲yù要yào自zì盡jìn，又yòu恐kǒng父fù母mǔ疑yí我wǒ逃táo走zǒu，事shì終zhōng不bù明míng。欲yù要yào自zì尽jìn，又yòu恐kǒng父fù母mǔ疑yí我wǒ逃táo走zǒu，事shì终zhōng不bù明míng。

I wished to make an end of myself, but feared my parents would suppose I had fled, and the matter never be made clear.

The detail that turns the passage. 自盡, zì jìn, to end one's own life. She did not, and the reason she gives is not fear of death but fear of being misunderstood: 事終不明, shì zhōng bù míng, the truth of it never brought to light. She would rather live falsely accused than die so.

故gù沒méi奈nài何hé，苟gǒu延yán殘cán喘chuǎn，誠chéng為wéi天tiān地dì間jiān一yí大dà罪zuì人rén也yě。」故gù没méi奈nài何hé，苟gǒu延yán残cán喘chuǎn，诚chéng为wéi天tiān地dì间jiān一yí大dà罪zuì人rén也yě。」

And so, helpless, I have dragged out this remnant of breath — truly a great sinner between heaven and earth."

苟延殘喘, gǒu yán cán chuǎn, "to eke out the last gasp of breath," is still current Chinese for dragging out an existence one has no appetite for. 誠為, chéng wéi, truly to be.

說shuō罷bà，淚lèi如rú泉quán湧yǒng。说shuō罢bà，泪lèi如rú泉quán涌yǒng。

Her words done, her tears welled up like a spring.

淚如泉湧, lèi rú quán yǒng, tears welling like a spring — a stock phrase, and here earned.

總評 Commentary

The reproach finds its mark, and the shame gives way to a confession that at last discloses what her position actually is: not the willing consort of a fiend but a prisoner bound by his spells, cut off from home, who had considered death and been stopped only by the fear that her parents would mistake a suicide for a flight. The disclosure deepens, in retrospect, every earlier scene of her captivity.

The speech completes the moral rehabilitation of a figure the chapter had left ambiguous, and it vindicates Wukong's method: the Confucian reproach was not cruelty but the key that unlocked her grief and won her to the pilgrims' side. Her closing self-accusation — a great sinner between heaven and earth — and the spring of tears seal her turn from obstacle to ally, and prepare the compact by which Wukong undertakes her rescue.