這獃子胡說 The Blockhead Talks Nonsense
行者在傍笑道：「這獃子胡說。你若做了賊，就攀上一牢人。是我在這裡看著師父，何曾側離？」行者在傍笑道：「这呆子胡说。你若做了贼，就攀上一牢人。是我在这里看着师父，何曾侧离？」
逐句解 Line by line
Pilgrim, standing by, laughed. "The blockhead is talking nonsense.
傍 is páng, at the side — the same character is bàng when it means to lean on something. Five characters of denial against a completely accurate account.
Turn thief and you will drag a whole gaolful of people in with you.
攀 is to pull somebody down with you — specifically, in legal language, to implicate a person under interrogation. 一牢人 is a prison's worth of them. He is calling his brother the kind of criminal who informs on everybody, which does not answer the charge at all.
I have been here minding the master. When did I ever step aside?"
著 is zhe, minding and going on minding. 何曾 is the rhetorical when ever — meaning never, and 曾 is céng, at any time past. The statement is false, and the hair that made it look true has already been reabsorbed.
Three moves in thirty-five characters: dismiss the witness, attack his character, assert an alibi. Not one of them engages with what he actually did.
The alibi is the interesting one, because it is technically supportable. Something wearing his face did stand there the whole time, and he is the only person who knows it was a hair.