官事對頭 A Suit With a Plaintiff
卻教太子上來哭父，皇后出來認夫，文武多官見主，我老孫與兄弟們動手。這才是有對頭的官事好打。」唐僧聞言，暗喜道：「只怕八戒不肯去。」行者笑道：「如何？我說你護短。你怎麼就知他不肯去？你只像我叫你時不答應，半個時辰便了。我這去，但憑三寸不爛之舌，莫說是豬八戒，就是豬九戒，也有本事教他跟著我走。」唐僧道：「也罷，隨你去叫他。」却教太子上来哭父，皇后出来认夫，文武多官见主，我老孙与兄弟们动手。这才是有对头的官事好打。」唐僧闻言，暗喜道：「只怕八戒不肯去。」行者笑道：「如何？我说你护短。你怎么就知他不肯去？你只像我叫你时不答应，半个时辰便了。我这去，但凭三寸不烂之舌，莫说是猪八戒，就是猪九戒，也有本事教他跟着我走。」唐僧道：「也罢，随你去叫他。」
逐句解 Line by line
'Then we will have the prince come forward to weep for his father, the queen come out to know her husband, and the host of civil and military officers behold their sovereign — and old Sun and his brothers will set to.'
Three witnesses, each supplying a different kind of proof: 哭父, a son weeping for his father; 認夫, a wife identifying her husband; 見主, the officials looking at their sovereign. Only then do the brothers start swinging. 教 = jiào, 'to have someone do'; 太子: 子 = zǐ.
'That is what it means to have a case with a plaintiff — a suit worth pressing.'
有對頭的官事: a lawsuit with a proper opposing party, 對頭 being the adversary on the other side of the case. A charge nobody brings is no charge at all — which is why the body and the witnesses have to arrive together.
Hearing this, the Tang Monk was secretly pleased, and said: 'I only fear Bajie will not be willing to go.'
暗喜, secretly delighted — because the plan sends somebody else down the well. 只怕: 'my one worry is.' 不肯 = bù.
The Pilgrim said with a laugh: 'What did I say?'
Wukong pounces. The worry itself is the evidence.
'I said you shield your own.'
One line, and the case is closed on the master.
'How do you know already that he won't go?'
How could you possibly know what Bajie will say, unless you have been thinking about him? 不肯 = bù.
'You need only do as you did when I called you and got no answer — just for half an hour.'
And the favor he asks is perfect: do exactly what you just did to me — lie there and don't answer — for half an hour, so I can work on Bajie undisturbed. 不答應 has 應 as yìng, 'to answer.' 便了: 'and that's all' (了 = le).
'When I go, with nothing but my three cùn of unrotting tongue, never mind Pig Eight-Prohibitions — were he Pig Nine-Prohibitions, I'd still have the skill to talk him into following me.'
三寸不爛之舌 — 'a three-cùn tongue that never rots' — is the standing Chinese phrase for irresistible persuasion, and it is still in daily use; the 寸 (cùn) is the Chinese measure of roughly a finger-joint, left in Chinese here because English has no borrowed name for it. Then the joke: 八戒 means 'Eight Prohibitions,' the eight monastic vows, so 豬九戒 — 'Pig Nine-Prohibitions' — simply adds one, as if piety came in sizes. 教他跟著: talk him into coming along (教 = jiào; 著 = zhe).
The Tang Monk said: 'Very well — go and call him as you please.'
也罷, 'oh, very well' — the sound of a man giving up (罷 = ba). 隨你: suit yourself.
The second half of the plan completes its courtroom logic. The recovered body will be met by a full slate of witnesses — the weeping prince, the wife who knows her husband, the assembled court — so that the confrontation becomes a public trial rather than a private brawl. Wukong's own phrase names the principle: a suit with a plaintiff is a suit worth pressing. Evidence alone is not enough; somebody has to bring the charge.
The comic thread tightens around Tripitaka. His fear that Bajie won't cooperate is turned against him instantly — proof, Wukong crows, that he shields his own. And the favor Wukong then asks is a small gem: the master need only feign sleep and give no answer, exactly as he had a moment before, so that Wukong may work on the pig without interference.
The boast that closes the passage — that a three-cùn tongue could talk even a 'Pig Nine-Prohibitions' into line — sets up the recruitment scene. The chapter has been building through these nested negotiations toward its central set-piece, and it is about to arrive: the drafting of the world's most reluctant accomplice.