反諷猴威 Praising the Monkey's Terror
行者聞言，打了個失驚道：「我兒，是那個唐僧？」妖王道：「是往西天取經的人也。」行者道：「我兒，可是孫行者師父麼？」妖王道：「正是。」行者擺手搖頭道：「莫惹他，莫惹他。別的還好惹，孫行者是那樣人哩。我賢郎你不曾會他，那猴子神通廣大，變化多端。他曾大鬧天宮，玉皇上帝差十萬天兵，佈下天羅地網，也不曾捉得他。你怎麼敢吃他師父？快早送出去還他，不要惹那猴子。他若打聽著你吃了他師父，他也不來和你打，他只把那金箍棒往山腰裡搠個窟窿，連山都掬了去。我兒，弄得你何處安身？教我倚靠何人養老？」行者闻言，打了个失惊道：「我儿，是那个唐僧？」妖王道：「是往西天取经的人也。」行者道：「我儿，可是孙行者师父么？」妖王道：「正是。」行者摆手摇头道：「莫惹他，莫惹他。别的还好惹，孙行者是那样人哩。我贤郎你不曾会他，那猴子神通广大，变化多端。他曾大闹天宫，玉皇上帝差十万天兵，布下天罗地网，也不曾捉得他。你怎么敢吃他师父？快早送出去还他，不要惹那猴子。他若打听着你吃了他师父，他也不来和你打，他只把那金箍棒往山腰里搠个窟窿，连山都掬了去。我儿，弄得你何处安身？教我倚靠何人养老？」
逐句解 Line by line
Pilgrim, hearing this, gave a start of feigned alarm: "My son — which Tang Monk is this?"
The performance begins: a start of alarm, beautifully faked. 那 in 那個唐僧 is the questioning nǎ — "which Tang Monk?" — and 兒 in 我兒 is ér.
The demon king said: "It is the man going to the Western Heaven to fetch the scriptures."
The demon names the captive: the man going west to fetch the scriptures.
Pilgrim said: "My son — is it not the master of Sun the Pilgrim?"
He is fishing for the confirmation he already has. 兒 in 我兒 is ér; 行 in 孫行者 is xíng.
The demon king said: "The very same."
A plain "exactly so." 正是 is used here as an everyday confirmation, and not as the tag that announces a poem — this block carries no verse marking.
Pilgrim waved his hand and shook his head: "Don't cross him, don't cross him!
And here the joke opens out. 莫惹 is "don't provoke him" — advice about Sun Wukong, delivered by Sun Wukong, with a great deal of hand-waving and head-shaking.
Others one might safely provoke, but Sun the Pilgrim is that sort of man.
還 in 還好惹 is hái, "comparatively, by contrast"; 那 in 那樣人 points, so nà, "that sort."
My worthy boy, you have never met him — that monkey's powers are vast, and his transformations past number.
Two set phrases of praise, and he is applying both to himself: 神通廣大, powers vast, and 變化多端, transformations past counting. 賢郎 is "worthy son." 那 in 那猴子 points, so nà, and the 子 ending is the light zi.
Once he made his great havoc in the Palace of Heaven: the Jade Emperor sent down a hundred thousand heavenly troops and spread the Heaven-and-Earth Net, and even so they could not take him.
The résumé, recited in the third person by the man who lived it. 大鬧天宮 is the Havoc in Heaven; 天羅地網 is the net spread over heaven and earth, the phrase still used for a manhunt nobody escapes. 差 in 差十萬天兵 is chāi, dispatched; 得 in 捉得他 is dé, "manage to catch."
How dare you make a meal of his master?
The scandalised father: how dare you make a meal of his master?
Send him out at once and give him back, and do not provoke that monkey.
The whole point of the speech, arriving at last: give him back. 還 here is huán, to hand back or return something, not hái, "still"; 那 in 那猴子 points, so nà.
If he gets wind that you have eaten his master, he won't even come to fight you — he'll just take that gold-banded cudgel, bore a hole in the mountain's waist, and scoop the whole mountain away.
The threat is magnificent and entirely made up on the spot — he will not even bother to fight, he will simply bore a hole in the mountain's waist and carry the mountain off. 著 in 打聽著 is zháo, the sense of an action landing: gets to find out. 那 in 那金箍棒 points, so nà; 都 in 連山都掬 is dōu, the whole mountain.
My son — where would that leave you a place to rest your body?
Where would that leave you? 兒 in 我兒 is ér; 得 in 弄得 is the light de; 處 in 何處 is chù, "what place."
On whom would it have me lean, to keep me in my old age?"
And the finishing touch: who will look after me in my old age? 教 is jiào, "have, make me." The whole confidence trick has been sharpened down to a point of family feeling.
This is Wukong's masterstroke of misdirection. Playing the anxious father, he urges Red Boy to release the very captive he has come to rescue — and he does it by advertising, in the father's voice, his own overwhelming power: the Havoc in Heaven, the hundred thousand troops that could not hold him, the cudgel that could scoop a mountain hollow. Then he wraps the whole thing in family pathos. Where would you rest? On whom would I lean in my old age? What makes it funny is that the self-portrait is entirely accurate; the terror he conjures is real.
But the ruse is built on sand. A father's counsel to give up the prize runs flat against a son's appetite and pride, and pressing it is exactly what invites suspicion. Red Boy has performed his filial duties, but the sheer extravagance of this fatherly caution is beginning to ring wrong in his ear, and the next passage turns on his kindling doubt. Wukong has bought time and cover, but not belief.