亡人啄我 Pecked Awake
那獃子慌得爬將起來，口裡亂嚷道：「有妖怪，有妖怪，把我戳了一槍去了，嘴上好不疼呀。」伸手摸摸，泱出血來了。他道：「蹭蹬啊，我又沒甚喜事，怎麼嘴上掛了紅耶？」他看著這血手，口裡絮絮叨叨的兩邊亂看，卻不見動靜。道：「無甚妖怪，怎麼戳我一槍麼？」忽擡頭往上看時，原來是個啄木蟲，在半空中飛哩。獃子咬牙罵道：「這個亡人，弼馬溫欺負我罷了，你也來欺負我。我曉得了。他一定不認我是個人，只把我嘴當一段黑朽枯爛的樹，內中生了蟲，尋蟲兒吃的，將我啄了這一下也。等我把嘴揣在懷裡睡罷。」那呆子慌得爬将起来，口里乱嚷道：「有妖怪，有妖怪，把我戳了一枪去了，嘴上好不疼呀。」伸手摸摸，泱出血来了。他道：「蹭蹬啊，我又没甚喜事，怎么嘴上挂了红耶？」他看着这血手，口里絮絮叨叨的两边乱看，却不见动静。道：「无甚妖怪，怎么戳我一枪么？」忽抬头往上看时，原来是个啄木虫，在半空中飞哩。呆子咬牙骂道：「这个亡人，弼马温欺负我罢了，你也来欺负我。我晓得了。他一定不认我是个人，只把我嘴当一段黑朽枯烂的树，内中生了虫，寻虫儿吃的，将我啄了这一下也。等我把嘴揣在怀里睡罢。」
逐句解 Line by line
The blockhead, flustered, scrambled up, bawling: "A fiend, a fiend! It jabbed me with a spear and made off — how my mouth hurts!"
戳了一槍, chuō le yì qiāng, "run through with a spear." 那 is nà; 慌得 takes 得 as de; 爬將起來 takes 將 as jiāng. A three-ounce bird pecks him and he wakes up shouting about spearmen.
He reached up and felt about — blood was welling out.
泱出血, yāng chū xiě, "blood welling up" — and worth noting that 血 is read xiě here, the everyday spoken reading you use for blood you can actually see, against the xuè that turns up two lines later and in the formal language generally.
Said he: "Wretched luck! I've had no happy occasion — so how is it my mouth is hung with red?"
蹭蹬, cèng dèng, "to stumble, to have a run of bad luck." Then the joke: 嘴上掛了紅, "the mouth hung with red." To hang red is what you do to a house for a wedding or a birth — red cloth over the door — so he is complaining that his face has been decorated for a celebration he was not invited to. 沒甚 takes 甚 as shén.
Staring at his bloodied hand, muttering and grumbling, he looked wildly to either side — but saw nothing stirring.
絮絮叨叨, xù xù dāo dāo, "muttering and rambling on" — still the standard phrase for someone who will not stop talking. 看著 takes 著 as zhe.
Said he: "No fiend about — so what jabbed me with a spear?"
無甚, wú shén, "not a one" — 甚 read shén. He has established there is no monster and is no closer to the answer.
Suddenly he raised his head and looked up — and there was a woodpecker, flying about in mid-air.
He finally looks up. 啄木蟲, the woodpecker, hanging in the air above him. 中 in 半空中 is zhōng.
The blockhead gnashed his teeth and railed: "You cursed thing! It's bad enough that the Bimawen bullies me — now you come and bully me too.
亡人, wáng rén, "you dead thing" — a piece of Ming abuse, roughly "damn you," with the force of wishing someone into a coffin. 欺負, "to bully, to push around," and still the exact word a child uses in the playground.
I have it now.
曉得, xiǎo de, "I've got it" — 得 the light de. He has not got it.
It surely does not take me for a man, but takes my snout for a length of black, rotten, crumbling wood with grubs bred inside; hunting a grub to eat, it gave me that peck.
The theory, and it is magnificent. 把…當, bǎ… dàng, "to take X for Y" — 當 read dàng, to regard as. The bird has mistaken his snout for a length of black rotten timber with grubs inside and gone in after lunch. 中 in 內中 is zhōng; the 兒 of 蟲兒 is the light er; 將我啄 takes 將 as jiāng. He has reasoned his way to a conclusion that insults him far more thoroughly than the truth would.
I'll just tuck my snout into my bosom and sleep."
揣在懷裡, chuāi zài huái lǐ, "to tuck into the front of the robe." His solution is to put the snout away and go back to sleep — a manoeuvre he will need again, in much worse circumstances, before the chapter is out.
Eight Rules wakes up shouting about a spear, discovers blood on his hand, and complains that his mouth has been "hung with red" — the phrase for a door decked in red cloth for a wedding, so his grievance is that he has been decorated for a party he did not attend. He looks wildly about, finds no monster, and only then thinks to look up, where a small woodpecker is circling. He does not connect it to anything.
His attempt to reason it out is the centre of the joke. Not for one second does he suspect Pilgrim. Instead he concludes that the bird has mistaken his snout for a length of black rotten wood with grubs living in it and gone in after a meal. The explanation is absurd, and it is also unwittingly precise, because a wooden head is exactly what the woodpecker was chosen to comment on. Having insulted himself far more thoroughly than his tormentor managed, he tucks the snout into his robe and settles down to sleep again.