打五棍 Five Strokes
行者罵道：「我把你個囊糠的夯貨！這般要緊的所在，教你去巡山，你卻去睡覺。不是啄木蟲叮你醒來，你還在那裡睡哩。及叮醒，又編這樣大謊，可不誤了大事？你快伸過孤拐來，打五棍記心。」八戒慌了道：「那個哭喪棒重，擦一擦兒皮塌，挽一挽兒筋傷；若打五下，就是死了。」行者道：「你怕打，卻怎麼扯謊？」八戒道：「哥哥呀，只是這一遭兒，以後再不敢了。」行者道：「一遭便打三棍。」八戒道：「爺爺呀！半棍兒也禁不得。」行者骂道：「我把你个囊糠的夯货！这般要紧的所在，教你去巡山，你却去睡觉。不是啄木虫叮你醒来，你还在那里睡哩。及叮醒，又编这样大谎，可不误了大事？你快伸过孤拐来，打五棍记心。」八戒慌了道：「那个哭丧棒重，擦一擦儿皮塌，挽一挽儿筋伤；若打五下，就是死了。」行者道：「你怕打，却怎么扯谎？」八戒道：「哥哥呀，只是这一遭儿，以后再不敢了。」行者道：「一遭便打三棍。」八戒道：「爷爷呀！半棍儿也禁不得。」
逐句解 Line by line
Pilgrim railed: "You chaff-brained blockhead! At so critical a spot, I sent you to patrol the mountain, and off you went to sleep instead.
囊糠的夯貨, náng kāng de hāng huò, "a lump of goods stuffed with chaff" — 糠 is the husk left after milling, the worthless part, so the insult is that his head is packed with what you throw away. 睡覺 takes 覺 as jiào.
Had a woodpecker not pecked you awake, you'd be sleeping there yet.
叮醒, dīng xǐng, "to sting awake." 還 is hái; 那裡 is pointing at the spot, so 那 is nà. Pilgrim now reveals, in passing, that the woodpecker was him — which Eight Rules had never once suspected.
And pecked awake, you go and spin so great a lie — would that not have wrecked the whole enterprise?
誤了大事, wù le dà shì, "to ruin the great business." This is the actual charge, and it is fair: the laziness was funny, but the false report would have walked the party into the trap blind.
Stick out your ankle-bone this instant — five strokes to fix it in your memory."
孤拐, gū guǎi, "ankle-bone" — the same bone Pilgrim was cheerfully discussing having chewed off him a few passages back, now on the receiving end. 記心, "to fix it in the memory." Punishment as mnemonic.
Eight Rules panicked: "That mourning-staff is heavy — a mere graze splits the skin, a mere brush wrenches the sinew; five strokes and I'm a dead pig."
The plea is instant and theatrical. 哭喪棒, kū sāng bàng, is a real object — the staff a chief mourner leans on and wails over at a funeral, and this very line is the example the dictionaries cite for the word. As a name for the gold-hooped cudgel it is Eight Rules's private joke: a stick that produces funerals. 重 is zhòng, heavy; the 兒 of 擦兒 and 挽兒 is the light er; 那 is nà.
Said Pilgrim: "If you fear a beating, then why tell lies?"
扯謊, chě huǎng, "to pull a lie" — one of several ways Chinese says it, alongside the 編 of weaving one. The retort is unanswerable: afraid of a beating, and yet you lied anyway.
Said Eight Rules: "Brother, just this once — I'll never dare again."
The 兒 of 這一遭兒 is the light er. 這一遭, "just this once" — the oldest plea there is.
Said Pilgrim: "For this once, then, three strokes."
一遭便打三棍, yì zāo biàn dǎ sān gùn, "for the once, then, three strokes." Five has become three. The negotiation has begun.
Said Eight Rules: "Good heavens! I couldn't bear even half a stroke."
禁不得, jīn bù de, "cannot take it" — 禁 read jīn, to withstand, not the jìn of prohibition, and the 得 the light de of the can/cannot pattern. The 兒 of 棍兒 is the light er. Three has been met with a counter-offer of nothing.
With the lie in the open, Pilgrim moves to sentencing, and the charge sheet is worth reading closely, because it is not really about the nap. Sent to scout a dangerous pass, he slept; pecked awake, he invented a story so grand it would have walked the whole party into the trap unprepared. That is the offence — 誤了大事, wrecking the enterprise — and five strokes of the cudgel is the sentence.
What follows dismantles the disciplinary moment completely. Eight Rules pleads that the cudgel is so heavy a graze splits skin and a brush wrenches sinew, and five blows would kill him outright; Pilgrim comes down to three; Eight Rules counters that he could not survive half of one. They are haggling, like a customer and a stallholder, over the price of a beating. Whatever authority the scene might have carried has been comprehensively talked away, and both of them seem to know it.