千萬莫念 Whatever You Do, Don't Recite It
八戒忍不住口,又對唐僧道:「師父,不要拿過了班兒。常言道:『留得在,落得怪。』我們且住一個月兒,了了他母子的願心也罷了,只管忙怎的?」唐僧又咄了一聲,那獃子就自家把嘴打了兩下道:「啐啐啐!說道莫多話,又做聲了!」行者與沙僧赥赥的笑在一邊。唐僧又怪行者道:「你笑甚麼?」即捻訣,要念緊箍兒咒。慌得個行者跪下道:「師父,我不曾笑,我不曾笑。千萬莫念,莫念。」八戒忍不住口,又对唐僧道:「师父,不要拿过了班儿。常言道:『留得在,落得怪。』我们且住一个月儿,了了他母子的愿心也罢了,只管忙怎的?」唐僧又咄了一声,那呆子就自家把嘴打了两下道:「啐啐啐!说道莫多话,又做声了!」行者与沙僧赥赥的笑在一边。唐僧又怪行者道:「你笑甚么?」即捻诀,要念紧箍儿咒。慌得个行者跪下道:「师父,我不曾笑,我不曾笑。千万莫念,莫念。」
逐句解 Line by line
Bajie could not keep his mouth shut and said to the Tang monk again: "Master, don't stand so much on your dignity. As the saying goes, if they will keep you, be kept — go, and you'll be thought ill of. Let us stay a month, settle the wish of the mother and the sons, and that will do. Why keep on being in such a hurry?"
⚠ 留得在,落得怪 is a proverb and it occurs once in the whole novel, which means there is no second site to check the sense against. It sets two outcomes side by side — being kept, and being resented — and leaves the reader to supply the connection. ⚠ In Bajie's mouth the argument is plain enough: take the hospitality while it is offered, because refusing it gives offence. He has just watched the mistress of the house walk out in a temper, so the evidence is on his side. ⚠ 也罷了 keeps the full reading here, and that is a decision rather than an oversight. The little word looks like the light one that closes a sentence with a shrug, and this project weighed making it so and did not: every one of the two hundred-odd places in the novel where these two characters stand together takes the full reading, and both standard dictionaries agree. Ruling otherwise here would have made this the only chapter in the book that says it differently.
The Tang monk gave another bark, and the idiot slapped himself twice across the mouth: "Pah! Pah! Pah! I was told not to talk so much, and I've gone and made a noise again!" Wukong and Shaseng stood to one side sniggering.
⚠ He hits himself. Nobody tells him to — his master barks once and Bajie administers his own two slaps and his own reprimand out loud. It is the funniest thing in the chapter and it is also rather sad. 啐 is a spitting noise of self-disgust, three of them in a row. And 赥赥 is the sound of two people trying not to laugh where they can be seen — a rare word, four times in the whole novel, and every one of them is somebody sniggering at somebody else's trouble.
The Tang monk turned on Wukong: "What are you laughing at?" — and made the finger sign, about to recite the headband spell. In a fright Wukong went down on his knees: "Master, I wasn't laughing, I wasn't laughing. Whatever you do, don't recite it — don't recite it."
⚠ 緊箍兒咒 is the tightening-band spell — the golden circlet fixed on Wukong's head at the start of the journey, which contracts and gives him agonising headaches whenever Tripitaka says the words. It is the only hold his master has over him and the novel names it twenty-six times. ⚠ 即捻訣 — he made the finger sign. Tripitaka does not even have to speak. The gesture that precedes the spell is enough, and Wukong is on the floor before a syllable is out. ⚠ Consider what is happening. The being who fought the armies of heaven, who has killed more demons than anyone can count, is kneeling and denying that he laughed. The whole scene is about a snigger, and it is the third time in four hundred characters that this quarrel has escalated over nothing at all.
The party at its worst and its most familiar. Bajie makes one more sensible argument, gets barked at, and punishes himself for it. Wukong and Shaseng laugh at him and get threatened with the spell. Everybody involved is behaving exactly as they have behaved for ninety-five chapters.
What is new is the setting. All of this is happening in somebody else's sutra hall, in front of a host who has spent a fortnight being kind to them, whose wife has just walked out in a temper. The novel does not comment. It simply stages the disciples' oldest routine in a room where it looks much worse than usual.
And the escalation is entirely one-sided. Bajie's argument is reasonable, the sniggering is harmless, and the response to both is a threat of pain. Tripitaka has been anxious about a deadline for eleven years, and this is the passage where the anxiety stops being sympathetic and starts being taken out on the people nearest to him.