二賊相戲 Two Thieves Meet
行者見了，笑道：「這個小賊在這裡哩。帝君處沒有桃子你偷吃！」東方朔朝上進禮，答道：「老賊，你來這裡怎的？我師父沒有仙丹你偷吃。」行者见了，笑道：「这个小贼在这里哩。帝君处没有桃子你偷吃！」东方朔朝上进礼，答道：「老贼，你来这里怎的？我师父没有仙丹你偷吃。」
逐句解 Line by line
Seeing him, the pilgrim laughed: "So here's the little thief!"
小賊, little thief. Between these two it is a greeting rather than an accusation -- the salute of one professional to another.
"The Sovereign Lord's place has no peaches for you to steal and eat!"
桃子, peaches, 子 the toneless zi. The jibe turns on Dongfang Shuo's reputation: nothing here for you to steal, so you must be bored.
Dongfang Shuo made his bow toward the seat of honor and answered, "Old thief! What brings you here?"
朝上進禮 is to make one's bow toward the seat of honour, 朝 = cháo, facing toward -- so he salutes his master properly first and then insults the guest. 老賊, old thief, is the return of serve, and it lands harder, because Wukong's record is worse.
"My master has no elixir here for you to steal and eat, either."
仙丹 is immortal elixir -- and the reference is unmistakable. Wukong did not merely steal the Queen Mother's peaches; he drank Laozi's finished elixir straight out of the gourds during his rebellion. Dongfang Shuo has picked the one comeback that outranks the original insult.
This brief exchange is one of the novel's small delights: the two most celebrated thieves of the immortal world meeting and greeting each other with cheerful abuse. Wukong hails Dongfang Shuo as little thief for his raids on the Queen Mother's peaches; Dongfang Shuo returns old thief, and adds that there is no elixir here for him to steal either -- a barb that lands squarely, since plundering Laozi's elixir was one of Wukong's more spectacular crimes. The insults are a form of recognition: neither is offended, because each has read the other's file, and calling a man a thief when he is famous for theft is nearer a compliment than an accusation.